A growing number of young people are identifying as “greysexual” – a term describing individuals who experience sexual attraction only occasionally, rarely, or under very specific conditions.
Once a little-known niche within the broader asexuality spectrum, greysexuality has been propelled into public conversation by social media platforms, online communities, and personal accounts from those who say the label finally gives language to something they have always felt. But while advocates see this as an important step in understanding human sexuality’s complexity, some experts warn it’s part of a larger generational trend that reflects deeper anxieties and cultural shifts.
A Growing Online Movement
On Reddit, the dedicated forum r/Greysexuality has amassed more than 8,300 members who share personal experiences, ask questions, and support one another. TikTok videos explaining the concept have attracted thousands of views, while YouTube creators are using long-form content to unpack what the label means in real life.
One such voice is YouTuber and podcaster Mark (@notdefining), who describes being greysexual as feeling “a bit of sexual attraction” but to a noticeably lower degree than most people. “It helps people understand that I do experience sexual attraction. I do have sex, I do enjoy it, and I have sexual fantasies,” he says. “But I may experience those feelings to a significantly lesser extent than others.”
The term “greysexual” – sometimes called “grey-A” – was first coined in 2006 on the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) to describe the “grey area” between complete asexuality and regular, frequent sexual attraction. For some, it’s a lifelong pattern; for others, it might fluctuate. The spectrum also includes identities like “demisexual,” where sexual attraction only develops after a deep emotional connection – a label made more widely known when singer Tulisa Contostavlos revealed her own demisexuality on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! in 2024.
The Social Context – and Concerns
Greysexuality’s rise is happening against a backdrop of what researchers have dubbed a “sex recession” among millennials and Gen Z. Multiple studies show younger people are having fewer sexual partners and engaging in less frequent sex than previous generations at the same age.
US writer Carter Sherman, who interviewed over 100 young people for her book The Second Coming, points to a combination of factors: social media-driven body image pressures, online pornography reshaping expectations, digital disconnection in real-life dating, and political battles over sexual rights. She argues this climate has created a sense of “fear and shame” around intimacy for many young adults.
Scientific research backs up some of these concerns. Studies have found that scrolling through idealised images on Instagram can reduce self-esteem, increase body dissatisfaction, and ultimately discourage dating or sexual activity.
Some psychologists worry that while identity labels like “greysexual” can validate experiences, they may also overcomplicate the already fraught process of exploring attraction and relationships – particularly for teenagers still forming their sense of self.
A Spectrum of Experience
Those identifying as greysexual often stress that it doesn’t mean they never experience sexual feelings. Surveys by the Ace Community Census reveal that many still masturbate, sometimes for pleasure, stress relief, or curiosity, while others have little or no interest in sexual activity at all.
Yasmin Benoit, a prominent activist in the asexual and aromantic community, argues that such identities provide crucial visibility for people whose experiences fall outside traditional norms. “For too long, asexuality and its spectrum have been erased from mainstream conversations,” she has said in past interviews.
However, medical experts emphasise a distinction between consistent low sexual attraction – as seen in asexuality and greysexuality – and a sudden loss of libido, which can be a symptom of stress, depression, or physical health issues like diabetes, heart disease, thyroid disorders, or hormonal changes such as menopause.
The Medical Perspective
The NHS notes that persistent loss of sexual desire is common, affecting one in five men and an even higher proportion of women at some point in their lives. It can be triggered by major life events, relationship changes, medication side effects, or health conditions. Unlike asexuality, these changes are usually temporary or treatable.
Doctors urge those experiencing an unexpected or prolonged drop in sexual interest to speak to a GP to rule out underlying medical causes.
Why It Matters
For supporters of the greysexual label, the benefits are clear: language helps people articulate feelings they may have hidden, and communities offer reassurance that they’re not alone. For critics, however, there’s a risk of pathologising normal variations in desire or creating unnecessary divisions.
What’s certain is that the discussion around greysexuality is forcing a re-examination of how we think about attraction – not as a binary of “sexual” or “asexual,” but as a nuanced, shifting spectrum.
Whether viewed as a reflection of evolving social attitudes, a symptom of broader cultural unease, or simply a recognition of human diversity, greysexuality has entered the mainstream – and the conversation is only getting started.
